My Heart’s Prayer

I will praise the Lord.

I will praise the Lord.

I will praise the Lord and lift up His holy name.

For You have supplied me with every good thing.

You have given me breath for my body,

You have given me life and health and salvation.

You have placed me in a land of plenty and freedom.

You have given me a good husband.

You have given me four children who love You.

You have planted me in a peaceful place and supplied all my needs.

You have given me family.  You have given me friends.

You have placed me under sound teaching.

You have given me Your Word.

You have given me Your Spirit.

You have given me Your very Self.

I will praise the Lord.

I will praise the Lord.

I will praise the Lord and lift up His holy name,

For every good and perfect gift is from You.

Bang, Thump, Whirr, Buzz

During worship service, our former pastor would ask if we had seen God at work during the previous week.  I don’t know that I can say I see God at work, but I can sure hear Him doin’ somethin’ in His workshop!

The Lord has recently awakened interests and passions for His kingdom that I had forgotten I had, or at least they were soundly asleep.  He has begun to make me aware of others in my church who may share those interests and passions.

Gentle friend, as the Father brings me to your mind would you please pray that He would speak very clearly to John and I regarding what my next step should be and that we would be quick to listen, discern, and obey?  Is it God’s will that I continue to devote myself to caretaking of John’s mother?  Does He intend that we go through a season of healing and attending solely to the needs of my children?  Or that a new ministry I hear Him building in the basement?

Turn the Corner, A Sad Goodbye

hospital.jpegTomorrow will mark two weeks since my very much loved father-in-law passed away.  The new chemotherapy medication he was on combined with the myeloma already in his bone marrow suppressed his production of white blood cells until he developed pneumonia.  The doctors did everything within human ability and medical science, but the Lord started shutting down his body, giving us all fair warning He was calling Edmund Home.  All of John’s brothers and sisters were home his final week in the hospital and my mother and sisters selflessly took care of my children any time I asked them to so that I could be at the hospital the entire time.  The picture above was taken on Thursday of his final week (with a cell phone hence the poor quality) when he rallied for a brief time.  His organ systems quickly began shutting down the following day.

The Sunday before he passed, John’s brother James (a pastor) conducted a very brief church service in the ICU.  We sang “Blessed Assurance”, Nathan read some selected scriptures, and James gave us all communion with a bagel from the hospital cafeteria and some leftover Sangria smuggled in from the previous evening’s dinner.  (The wine was served in medication cups and the children were given water).  It was simultaneously exceedingly funny and exceedingly holy.  We later commented that our family had broken all of the hospital’s rules in one morning. 

In the week that followed I was surprised by the depth of my grief, the all-suffieciency of God’s grace, and the generosity of friends and neighbors.

God has begun to show us Mavis’ new needs in a life without Edmund and has begun to unfold His plan for meeting those needs.  It is not by the way, what I had envisioned nor what John’s siblings had envisioned, but something entirely different, reminding me that our ways are not His and that His thoughts are infinitely higher than ours.